Finding True Love in the most Unlikely of Places
by PickledOnion
Summary: Title covers story. Give review. Humor many locations. No warnings. Review Revew Review! ShepWeir
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Atlantis damn it! But if I did I would make sure that John got with Elizabeth instead of Teyla cos she is meant to be 20-25 and he is 35-40 plus the fact she is a little boring.

Title: Finding love in the most unlikely of places

Chapter 1: In the Office

John Sheppard had a spring in his step. He felt great! He had woken up to a beautiful day after sleeping like a baby, had a good sparring session with Teyla (even if he did get his ass whipped,) soaked in a hot tub for half an hour and now he was on his way through the control room to the mess hall for breakfast.

As John whistled as he went, he looked around the control room to see his lovely boss, Elizabeth Weir, not looking so…well, lovely. So, he changed his direction and gave a cheerful knock on the door.

"Come in." She said glumly, her eyes never left her computer screen and so she didn't see who was leaning on her doorway.

"Just give me the bad news. Rodney blew up his lab again or is it something even worse." She looked up to see John Sheppard with a very worried look on his face. She started to stand up from her seat with what strength she had.

"What happened?" She was getting scared now. John quickly moved away from the doorway, smiled and gestured for her to sit down again.

"No. No. Nothing's happened. I'm just worried about you, Liz." He said, taking the seat in front of her desk. She sat down.

"Don't call me that." She gave a half-hearted smile. John looked at her. She appeared to not of slept in days, her hair was messy, reports were lying around everywhere and she was on her fifth cup of coffee. He sighed.

"You've been here all night." It was a statement not a question. It was her turn to sigh. "You look like you have been hit by a truck." He stated.

"Thanks." She replied sarcastically, but he continued.

"Then the truck completely ran you over, then reversed over you again and once it had moved on and you had managed just about to stand up straight, another truck, twice the size, did the exact same thing to you." She stared at him, blinking with horror.

"Right. So, basically I look like a piece of shit, then" She asked, too tired to come up with a witty remark. He frowned, thinking that he had really hurt her feeling and started to try and make up for it.

"Well no, I wouldn't say that…" He looked at her; she took a back seat, folded her arms and raised an eyebrow prepared for whatever he had to say.

"…okay, so yes, pretty much a piece of shit really." He scratched the back of his head during the awkward silence and then they both simultaneously burst out laughing.

"You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself, Major." She said with sarcasm as she yawned.

"And you know how to work a girl too hard."

"John-" She sighed.

"I'm serious Elizabeth, you need some serious downtime." Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but he held up his hand to silence her.

"No! I don't want to hear it, thank you. You're going to come with me to breakfast and take the rest of the day off and I will force you to have fun. No arguments! Or I'll get Carson!" Elizabeth opened her mouth again, but decided that maybe John was right. However, before she had time to reconsider, he had grabbed her hand, taken her out of her seat and was running to the mess hall.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: In the Mess Hall

John dragged Elizabeth by the hand around Atlantis to the mess hall with many people staring until finally they reached their destination. Elizabeth was out of breath.

"Did you…have to go…so fast?" She said putting her hand on her chest and began evening out her breathing.

"Well, if we went at your speed it would be lunchtime. Plus the fact that fifty scientists would of come up to you asking you pointless stuff which always goes on forever." Before Elizabeth had the time to hit him for implying she was slow he dragged her off to the food section. John grabbed a plate and put everything he could find on it. Elizabeth looked at his plate and at him, somewhat shocked.

"Okay, why do you need so much food?" She said grabbing a muffin and a cup of coffee and began to sit down with him. He took the sit opposite her.

"Breakfast_ is _the most important meal of the day." He said while stuffing in his muffin. She brought the coffee to her lips, blew on it and smiled.

"What?" He said while taking a sip of his juice. She chuckled and broke off a piece of her muffin.

"Nothing. I was just thinking." She ate the piece of muffin and looked around the mess hall to see Rodney and Teyla coming over.

"Thinking what?" He asked, very intrigued, but didn't hear an answer as she called over to the pair coming to sit with them. Teyla sat by John and Rodney by Elizabeth. Teyla had some Athosian fruit and water and well Rodney had more food than John.

"Hungry, Rodney?" Elizabeth smirked and John, who tried to laugh, starting choking a bit oh his food.

"Rodney, do not be so inconsiderate." Teyla said not approvingly, patting John on the back to stop his choking. Elizabeth burst into laughter over Teyla's remark and started choking on her muffin. John and Elizabeth looked at each other choking and laughing and kept choking until their food went down and then they just kept laughing.

"How is John choking when he tried to laugh at Elizabeth's comment of how much food I have got when John has practically the same as me?" Teyla frowned and had appeared to have finished her food and got up to leave.

"If you excuse me, Dr. Weir and Major Sheppard as I will be travelling to the mainland." She squinted her eyes at Rodney. "Rodney McKay."

John looked at Teyla and Rodney and started laughing again. "HEY!" Rodney threw his arms up in the air and getting up, but Teyla had already left the mess hall and so he was shouting to anyone who would listen.

"How is Sheppard being stupid enough to laugh while eating and so choking my fault? Idiots!" He cried while people looked at him and called out things like 'weirdo' and 'freak.' He sat back down and angrily got back to stuffing his face full of food.

"No Rodney." Elizabeth said looking at him calmly, he turned to look ate her very confused. She had a very serious face.

"Huh? Elizabeth I don't have time for-"

"You're the idiot."

"What? How dare-"

"What kind of man with severe citrus allergies picks up a glass of fruit juice which is 40 lemon juice?" Her serious face turned into a wide grin and John went into fits of laughter. Rodney looked from one to the other.

"You two are so…mean. You know that! You're worse than Carson…and Zelenka…put together!" John pulled himself together.

"Look Rodney, Liz is just playing, lighten up. Hey! I've just had an idea!" John looked at Elizabeth.

"Yes."

"Me and you should go to the gym."

"Well, I don't know that-" And before she had to chance to say no. John had grabbed her hand and was whisking her off to the gym, leaving Rodney all alone.

"Yeah, that's right!" He shouted back at them. "You go off! I'll be fine! I'll just sit here and eat my breakfast. You have fun children!" He took a sip from his drink. "Typical." He looked down at his glass.

"Shit. Allergies! I'm going to die!" Rodney ran out of the mess hall and to the infirmary, leaving the normal people of Atlantis who didn't eat enough for ten men each, who weren't workaholics, who didn't grab their so-called _just a friend's_ hand and who weren't an alien who could sense the enemy. Funny that! The normal ones always tend to be the least interesting.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello guys. I am back, sorry about that last chapter it was really crap, I just wanted to show that Shep and Weir do have fun together especially when they get an excuse to have a go at Rodney. Thank you very much moonlightfaery for my first ever review. That applies to any of you shepweir fans, please review, cause please who thought up that Teyla and Shep were destined for each other. Idiots!

Chapter 3:In the Gym

Once again Elizabeth was being dragged around Atlantis. It was a like a dream. She was with a guy she liked (as a friend, must remember that!) She was doing the things she liked and so it was a dream. Apart from this dream was a blurry and hectic dream as she was made to go all over Atlantis and let me remind Atlantis is about the size of Manhattan. Elizabeth was puffed out and in her attempt to make John slow down as they ran through deserted corridors she pinched his upper arm with her free arm.

"Ow!" He stopped, let go of her hand and began rubbing where he had been attacked.

"What the hell was that for?" She let out a tired smile and sat down on the floor. He looked down at her.

"What are you doing?" He gave her a curious grin and cocked his head to one side. _He really could be cute, when he wanted to be. Bad thought!_

"I'm tired, and pinching you was the only way to make you slow down." She said while painting. He sat down cross-legged in front of her, closer than she would have preferably liked, and said an extremely husky and sexy voice that caught off-guard.

"How about telling me to slow down instead next time? Huh?" Elizabeth smiled and all she could manage was an "Okay_." Shit! Am I blushing? This was a bad idea! Gawd, next time I take a day off I am gonna read a book and not get sweaty with my hunky, gorgeous, sexy colleague. Especially when I have been on a floating ocean for six months where I have had zero sex. Crap! He is taking me somewhere else now!_

"We're here!" Elizabeth walked into the gym with him. It was huge! Elizabeth has always been an academic person. Yes, she could dance with a man, just in case for diplomatic reasons and she was an expert at yoga plus she knew how to fence, since that was a safe weapon sport. However, since Elizabeth had got to Atlantis she hadn't found the time and now she was looking at a completely knew part of Atlantis with a grand, high ceiling and wonderfully decorated walls.

"Wow." She muttered under her breath in aw. John looked at her and saw her smile and saw that they were still holding hands. She was still holding his hand tight. _Wow. She really is beautiful. No I did not think that. Anyway…I am gonna kick her ass. I know what Teyla's been saying to her, but like I was ever gonna beat Teyla. But I am gonna beat Liz…I'll pin her to the floor easily. First I am gonna kiss her. Whoa! Hold on there, sonny boy, we do not think things like that about your boss. Bad John!_

John immediately let go of Elizabeth's hand and coughed. "So…" he said looking at the floor. I'll get the sticks. Her smile turned into a small one as she just nodded in reply. _Aw crap! You offended her. That's great John. You just keep making her feel like she is making you feel uncomfortable, I'm sure that will brighten her day knowing that you don't being around her._ Elizabeth sat down and put her trainers on. _Thank God, he let go of my hand I thought I was gonna have to do it._ She got up and John gave her the stick and a blindfold.

She looked at him, puzzled, and he gave her a huge grin.

"Well, if we didn't have blindfolds, it wouldn't be difficult, would it?"

"John, I have to fight you, isn't that hard enough?"

"I will have you know flattery will get you know where. So, quit complaining and put on your blindfold." Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

"Please!" He said, giving her those big, brown puppy dog eyes. _Evil!_

"Fine." She put on the blindfold, he smile at her. _I really did not think the puppy eyes were gonna work! _John put on his blindfold.

"Now what?" She asked impatiently, already thinking that this was one crappy way of spending her day off.

"Now we try to get each pinned on the mat?"

"Wha-" But Elizabeth was cut off as John swiped her off her feet and her ass landed hard on the mat.

"Ow! Give me a chance you assho-"

"Elizabeth." He said with a disciplining tone of voice, while helping her up.

"You know better than to resort to abusive language." He laughed.

"Sorry." She looked into his completely covered up eyes and vice versa, and once again neither of them were letting go of each other's hand.

"Right." Elizabeth said retaking her position on the mat. "Now, if you've done cheating I am hoping that we could get back to the stick fight or whatever it is!" (PickledOnion: That's for Beach chickJASSNL)

"Cheating!" John pretended to be extremely insulted. "Me! Elizabeth how could you think such a thing. Hey!" John put his stick up to block one of Elizabeth's moves.

"Who's the one cheating now?"

"I got tired of talking." John swore that she must have had an evil glint in her eye. If only he could see. So, they kept hitting sticks and blocking sticks and definitely worked up a sweat, involving Elizabeth landing on her ass continuously and John landing on his ass a couple of times.

"By the end of this," she said as she helped John up "I won't be the only one who looks like she was hit by a truck and then it reversed and then another bigger one came along." John started laughing and so did Elizabeth; she was too tired to fight it.

"Well, I can't remember what you said, but it was something along those lines."

"Yeah." And at that precise same moment they both tried to trip each other up, leaving Elizabeth flat on the floor and John on top of her.

"Well…" she said while taking off her blindfold and he took off his. "This is somewhat of a comprising position."

"I agree." But neither of them moved until they turned their heads to notice a shocked Carson and a horrified Rodney staring straight back at them.

Rodney _tried_ to whisper to Carson. "I told you they were doing it."


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for the reviews! Please review lots more! Please! Anyway on to chapter 4, sorry it's been a while.

Chapter 4: In thinking

All three men had no idea what to do at this extremely awkward moment, but Elizabeth was not shocked and frozen, but very embarrassed and dying to get out of the gym.

"Oh my God." She stated, before turning to Sheppard who instantly stood up.

"Well," he said, pretending nothing had happened. "I think you'll be fine in a hand to hand combat situation."

"Oh my God." Elizabeth stated, even though she couldn't stand being there she was surprised how John was trying to come up with lame excuses. Somehow, she didn't know how, John had wormed his way into her heart and she was somewhat offended that he was pretending nothing had happened right then.

"Especially if the wraith is carrying a stick, pole, piece of wood, or something along those lines, huh?" She said coldly, He looked up at her and he could tell that she was obviously hurt and he was kicking himself mentally. (i.e. John, you ass! Why d'you go and do that?)

"Okay." Said, Rodney, pathetically trying to ease the conversation as he could cut the tension with a knife. "I had a feeling you had been whisked of by John Sheppard, and I took a guess at the gym. And like always," Rodney said smugly, "I was correct."

"Aye, you were correct. After you guessed the control room, the mess hall, your lab, Zelenka's lab, Elizabeth's office, John's room, Elizabeth's room-"

"We get the point!" Rodney held his hands up as Carson folded his arms triumphantly, until he saw the look on Elizabeth's face and quickly tried to think of an excuse for her.

"Dr. Weir?"

"Yes, Carson?" She said with no expression while trying to divert her gaze from John completely.

"I could really use your help in the infirmary, as I was looking at the Ancient text that looks like medical files. Only it's all in Ancient and languages are your subject and so I was hoping-"

"I loved to." Elizabeth jumped in. "I think I'm finished here anyway." She walked out of the gym doors and Carson quickly followed. John looked down at the floor and up at Rodney to be greeted by the typical Elizabeth Weir expression: arms folded and one eyebrow raised.

"What?" John said, practically in a shout.

"Oh, nothing. It's just you made a total ass of yourself. That's all."

"I did not make an total-" John stared at him. " Look I hardly did anything at all! I just said that she would be fine in a combat position and now she stressed with me! Why/ What did I do?"

"Oh, I don't know?" Said Rodney sarcastically and taking a step towards John.

"Maybe, just maybe, she thought that you were going to tell us how you really feel or tell us the truth that perhaps you and her have decided to spend some quality time together?"

"And why the hell would I do that?" John shouted taking a step towards Rodney, but this Rodney dropped the sarcasm and gave it to him straight, while shouting of course.

"Because you have been leading her on all day! No! You have been leading her on since you got it here and it has got to the point where she trusts you, she has faith in you and she may even be falling in love with you, but what is the point if you cannot even tell me and Carson that would and her have been spending some bloody time together!" John stared at him, blankly, and John began to calm down.

"You can't treat her like you love her in private and that you don't in public. It's confusing for her, and with what she ahs been through with someone she does not need it, and that, my friend, is why, right now, you are a total ass." Rodney said sighing.

"You're right. I have got to find her and set things straight." John said while rushing around and getting his stuff.

"No." John looked up confused. "You've got to do this right, otherwise you'll just make another total ass of yourself.

(Meanwhile, in the infirmary.)

"I've made a total ass of myself haven't I?" Elizabeth said quietly while sitting down on one of the beds. Carson sat down at his desk and went through reports while talking to her. He looked up at her.

"And why exactly have you my a total arse of yourself, dear?" He said kindly.

"Because, I ask for too much. I ask for John not to be an idiot flyboy for once and be honest. I ask for you and Rodney to get along, and I ask Rodney to remember things. He knew we were going to the gym."

"He didn't? The swine dragged me around have the bloody city looking for you, and he didn't even tell me what for?"

Elizabeth looked at him puzzled and slightly concerned. "To look at those medical files, silly. That reminds me, where are they?" Elizabeth said jumping off the bed.

"There are no medical files." Said Carson while going through all the medical reports. Elizabeth looked at him stunned.

"I just thought that you wanted to get out of that little situation you were in " Elizabeth smile, Carson could be so sweet and caring sometimes.

"Thanks."

"Your welcome, lass. However, I wonder if you could me the small favour of popping round the side to get the box of even more medical reports could you?"

"No problem." Elizabeth went to search and while she searched she heard Teyla talking to Carson.

"Dr. Beckett, you do not have a able cloth in here, or a spare sheet perhaps?" Carson stood up.

"Why?"

"I am helping Dr McKay help Major Sheppard?" She said bluntly.

"And why would you be helping Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay?"

"Well." Teyla sighed like she was going to have to recite a very long story and Elizabeth decided to listen while searching for the medical reports.

" I am helping Major Sheppard because he wants to prove to Dr. Weir that he loves her hence the table cloth." All three smiled, especially Elizabeth as she stopped searching and focused on listening.

"And even though I did not want to help Dr. McKay as he is a most cruel and evil human being," Carson nodded in agreement, "I got into a conversation of sport and I, after watching both football and hockey, told him that hockey was a weak sport with many flaws. He did cry, as I surprisingly expected and to stop his whining and sobbing I agreed to help him help Major Sheppard. Apparently Dr. McKay does not have the strength in his legs to take him to all the places for all the necessary things as he claims you dragged him around Atlantis looking for Dr. Weir and Major Sheppard." Teyla sighed again and smiled, glad that she had finished her explaining.

"That cheeky bastard! I'll have you know it was him that-"

Teyla cut him off and bluntly said. "I do not care, Dr. Beckett, the table cloth!"

"Yes. Yes. Take one of the bed sheets, over there." Said Carson, while waving his hand and sitting down. Teyla took the sheet and left. Elizabeth walked round the corner and put the box of reports on his desk.

"Carson?"

"What?" Carson was beginning to wish he were alone.

"Um, if you only thought of the medical file excuse while we were in the gym, then why did you come looking for me in the first and got dragged around Atlantis."

"Because…" He looked at her; she cocked her head to one side. "Aye, righty ho. You know what why not you get ready for this dinner that John has planned which you are going to pretend you didn't hear just now and when Rodney mysteriously dies you won't say a word. Deal?"

"Deal." She smiled and walked towards the door, but stopped and turned around. Carson looked at her and sighed.

"Anything else?"

"Do you ever get the feeling that you're a puppet and the universe just shoves its hand up your ass and makes you do things that you wouldn't ever do?"

"No, dear, I don't. But I tell you who'll have their hand up Rodney's butt by the end of the day!" Elizabeth laughed and walked out the door. Hopefully for her, she thought, the universe was going to point her to John, otherwise Elizabeth will have to put her hand up the universe's bottom and make it so she and John were together, always.

(I think the next chapter, will be the last! I need more inspiration. Someone give me and challenge and tell me what to write about in another story."


	5. Chapter 5

Hello, again. I hope someone has given me some inspiration or a challenge for a new story. This is the last chapter, I hope you like it.

Chapter 5: On The Balcony

Elizabeth looked in the mirror and sighed. _I look okay, right?_ She thought too herself. She was wearing a knee-length little black dress with a small slit at the side and a plunging neckline that was sexy and sophisticated and not slutty. By this point that necklace Simon had got her was long gone. She had finally realised that it was okay if he had moved on because she new he was boring. I mean come on! His name was Simon, it just oozed boring!

So, has she did her hair up in a loose bun with locks of hair gently falling out; she came to the conclusion, that who or what had put their hand up her backside and had made her a puppet, had full control and that she wasn't going to fight it but embrace it. And if that meant falling head over heals in love with Sheppard and vice versa that was just something she was going to have to bear.

Her radio signal (whatever it is!) bleeped on her side table and she held it up to her ear and a very subtly sexy and yet very familiar voice sounded through.

"Dr. Weir, this is Major Sheppard do you read?" She smiled, she had a feeling he was going to make up some pretence and have some little surprise. He loves surprises. She cleared her throat; she wasn't about to ruin it all for him.

"Yes, major. I read." She smiled. It was funny how she could easily act cool in front of world leaders and lie through gritted teeth to the most sexist military general assholes. However, she couldn't help but want to burst out laughing when she attempted to lie to a certain Major.

"Well then…um…perhaps, no…I need your help with something." He couldn't think of what to say.

"Really?" She said smiling, _what's wrong with messing around with me for just a little bit?_

"What sort of help? Because I'm a little busy right now."

"You are?" John couldn't help but sound disappointed which was extremely adorable for Elizabeth to listen to you.

"Yes." She said while sitting down on her bed and thinking of a little story to tell.

"I was about to go with Teyla to the mainland to a banquet with some of the Athosians…I got dressed for the occasion and everything."

"But Teyla's meant to be help-" He stopped shutting his big mouth from giving anything.

"Really, that's…interesting." He said continuing. "But I would greatly appreciate your help. So, if you could perhaps meet me on our balcony in ten minutes that would be great. Over and-"

"Wait!" She was slightly taken back.

"What?" He asked in a worried tone of voice.

"_Our_ balcony." She said quietly. He gave a big smile. He was on the balcony right then, in a suit with a tie and a romantic meal for two and looked out into the ocean.

"Yeah. Our balcony. I wouldn't want anyone else on it but us…together…on the balcony…togeth-"

Elizabeth started giggling.

"I get it. But what exactly do you need help with on our balc-"

"Look. I hate to be blunt, but I need you on this balcony now." John looked at the table, he didn't want the champagne to get warm.

"Alright." She had had enough fun with him. "Give me five minute. Over and out."

(Five minutes later…)

Elizabeth opened the balcony doors to see a candlelight dinner with strawberries and champagne with a range of dishes that she couldn't see yet and a gorgeously groomed John Sheppard with a bunch of flowers gauping at her. The stars were out and there was a slight breeze that was refreshing not chilling. She looked at him and smiled.

"What? Why is your mouth hanging open like that?" She gave him a puzzled look, he closed his mouth and swallowed.

"You look amazing, you were going to were that to a dinner with a few Athosians, lucky bas-"

"John. You know better than to resort to abusive language." She was recalling what he had said to her in the gym earlier on today. He laughed.

"You're right. Please! Won't you take a seat?" He said while pulling out a chair.

"Don't mind if I do." She sat down and thought of all the work her must gone to.

"This is beautiful, John. Thank you."

"Your welcome." He said while pouring the glasses of champagne. He lifted up a glass and she then lifted up hers.

"To…us. To you for being the most beautiful and generous leader in the world and any man would be lucky to have you. And to me, for finally realising that I want to be that man. No games, I love you. I love you on our balcony, I love you in our Atlantis and I'll love you on Earth. Always and forever." He took a sip of champagne to calm his nerves and looked at her. She wasn't angry or crying, but she wasn't smiling either. _Shit! This is going to end badly I know it. _

"Can I same something?"

"Sure." He was glad that she at least waned to say something, whether good or bad.

"This is something that my dad always brought up in conversation and I tell you what, he was right, it applies to every aspect of life. Have you ever heard of the puppet theory?"

John was extremely confused. _What the hell do puppets have to do with our relationship?_

"What? You mean, like that puppets are really alive, because I met a guy once who-"

She giggled and he smiled at her giggling.

"No! No. I mean like someone, something or maybe the whole universe has its-"

"hand shoved up your ass. I know." She looked at him and gave the most beautiful smile and stood up and he decided maybe he should stand up too. She walked up to him and quietly spoke.

"So, John Sheppard, tell me. Who has shoved their hands up our backsides?"

He looked at her straight in the eye. He knew he only had one shot at saying the right answer and that it would mean everything. It was the answer she needed to know whether John Sheppard was the man she was meant to be with. He sighed and sat on the edge of the table. She looked down at him and waited. It seemed like forever.

"No one. Cause if someone did we wouldn't be put together. Only me and you don't like people's hands up our butts and that means you and me can be together. I love you, Liz and even if you don't feel the same that's not going to chan-" And with that, Elizabeth kissed him and he stood up and wrapped his arms around her like they do in old movies and had an extremely passionate but yet romantic kiss, until air became a necessity. He looked at her, arms still around her and she did the same.

"Good answer." He smiled smugly.

"Thank you. I tend to be able to answer correctly under pressure well."

"Well, good job too. Cause if you know the true answer to the puppet theory then…well…you're a good guy in my dad's books." She looked at the dishes. She was hungry and he noticed her diverted gaze and smiled.

"You hungry?"

"A little bit. What do you have, chef?"

They both sat down.

"Well, I have lobster as I know you like seafood."

"You seem to know a lot. My birthday, the puppet theory, what I like to eat…"

"I'm very clever."

"Yes, you are."

"I even have a cake with 'I Love you' in icing."

"You have all of that?"

"No. I've got turkey sandwiches." She smiled and he smiled back and they held hands over the table.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how these two very different people turned into two little lovebirds, because they found love in the most unlikely of places.

The End

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